Artemis Fowl Is The Worst Disney Movie I've Ever Seen

This is the greatest book ruining of All Time

100+ komentarze:

The Burger King
The Burger King:
I don’t trust this guys opinion, I’ll wait for the moist meter guy to review it
randimation
randimation:
I love How Charlie instantly Defends the kid.
He probably Remembered what happened to that child actor from star wars and tried to prevent the same thing from happening
Dominik Bilba
Dominik Bilba:
“The movie is like 45 minutes long”

Looks up length: 1 hour 55 minutes

“I was dozing off”

Makes sense now
Over Time
Over Time:
"44% of users liked this movie"
"4.1/10 on IMDb"
"9% Rotten tomatoes"
"31% metacritic"

...yikes.
Ibrahim Abdullahi
Ibrahim Abdullahi:
Artemis Fowl's budget: $150 million
End result: garbage
Tyler Ruiz
Tyler Ruiz:
Percy Jackson Fans: "First time?"
Kody Krawczuk
Kody Krawczuk:
Disney, making A Wrinkle In Time: wanna see me make a garbage adaptation of a beloved property?
Disney, making live action remakes of animated films: wanna see me do it again?
Disney, reaching towards Artemis Fowl: wanna see me do it... *again*?
Movieman Studios
Movieman Studios:
This movie is a PTSD flashback reminding me of The Last Airbender
ThePancakeRenegade
ThePancakeRenegade:
Eragon, Percy Jackson, and The Last Airbender all feel your pain Artemis Fowl
Calvin Woodruff
Calvin Woodruff:
Disney has enough money, they should start caring more about making good movies and not just the money
Guitar Guy
Guitar Guy:
At this point Charlie looks like he should be a member of the Foo Fighters
M4GNUS
M4GNUS:
This is so sad. the books had so much potential. I honestly think it could’ve been the next Harry Potter
E Robinson
E Robinson:
*Movie/Book Differences* the ones that stood out
*ARTEMIS II* is essentially a villain, and 12yo genius. First inspired by rebuilding the Fowl Family fortune after his dad's disappearance , and lost of most of the family's net worth. He is naturally a mischievous smart-a$% with a bad personality (which is why the name 'Fowl' was chosen by the author).

*DOM BUTLER* in the 1st book he was described as being almost 7 feet tall around 200 pds with deep blue eyes, and EURASIAN (think Belarus or Kyrgyzstan) like a white dude with a hint of Asian ancestry

*JULIET BUTLER* Dom's youngest sister was a tall 16yo carefree beauty pageant chick (like a valley girl) who became an expert marksman.

*HOLLY SHORT* is a 3ft tall elf with a slender body, and rounded face like her great-grandfather Cupid, long fingers, hazel brown eyes, auburn hair, and nut-brown skin (book 1 chapter 3) or coffee-brown skin (TAFF, chapter 3: The Seventh Dwarf) like a medium light-skinned black girl, or Latina.

*JULIUS ROOT* commander of LEPrecon, and most successful officer in history, Holly's boss, avid smoker, and most definitely a man.

*FOALY* The centaur who is a tech genius, former classmate of Opal Kobai, conspiracy theorist, and inventor of most of Haven City's advanced technology (his role was understated).

*DR. ANGELINE FOWL* arty's mom who has fallen ill after his dad's disappearance, and is definitely not dead.

*THE PLOT* It's all different! They are suppose to be stealing 1 ton of 24 karat gold, Arty discovers the fairy book in Vietnam then learns of magic on his own, also Holly is captured doing a magically ritual near a tree, not an investigation.

if I missed anything (which i'm sure I did) add in
MiLotic
MiLotic:
WTF Artemis Fowl books were my childhood. What the hell did Disney do to it
ReaGame
ReaGame:
I'm glad you're actually defending the Artemis actor. That really shows that you know what you're talking about, and that makes this review of a terrible movie more legit.
Fredy Is Here
Fredy Is Here:
My favorite part was when they introduced Artemis’s best friend, and the only thing she did during the entire movie was make him a sandwich.
Darian wuz here
Darian wuz here:
The book: "Genius child kidnaps fairy"
The movie: "My daddy is gone;("
Matthew O'Connor
Matthew O'Connor:
when he explains scenes from the movie he literally sounds like he's explaining a dream he had
Gaeist
Gaeist:
You know its bad when Charlie doesn't wear his trusted white shirt.
Nihilisms
Nihilisms:
The books are so much better, really the movie is a disservice to the actual story - on a level of eragon if you remember that pos movie.
that one strange guy
that one strange guy:
When movie didn't even reach moist meter you know it's a truly horrible one
ExpiredCrayon
ExpiredCrayon:
He's literally Keanu reeves that hit the ubisoft downgrade button
Tonttu Römppänen
Tonttu Römppänen:
My boyfriend saw me watching this and asked "is that Jesus?"
buttered toast official
buttered toast official:
Charlie, you just can't even fathom how artistically perfect this movie is.
Its no surprise though, only intellectual geniuses are able to comprehend how the director fleshed out this masterpiece.
Red Star
Red Star:
This was so bad, it didn't need a moist meter. Goes without saying, 0%.
Sour Bunni
Sour Bunni:
The book was completely different he says he’s a criminal at the end no he never was in the movie in the book which is 100x he actually was
Jermbo Notrombone
Jermbo Notrombone:
“Disney wouldn’t put in a kid who couldn’t act” I’m pretty sure the only reason kids get hired 90% of the time for acting gigs is looks or connections.
cbkm0
cbkm0:
Artemis fowl was a good book series though, at least when i was a kid. I’m sure the movie sucks, ruining books is fun for studios.
Wayne Goddard
Wayne Goddard:
The time zone freezing sounds like the big ‘internet crash’ everyone was freaking out about as 2000 rolled in.
Jason Heras
Jason Heras:
Disney isn’t used to making movies that aren’t remakes
Silverfirefly1
Silverfirefly1:
On the DVD box it will say:
'It feels like a dream!' - Penguinz0
TrolleyMC
TrolleyMC:
I guess you could say this movie is Artemis foul.
TinyTroglodyte
TinyTroglodyte:
"They should have flushed this down the toilet"
*But then it would become slightly moist*
JustSilky
JustSilky:
Fun fact: The kid who played Artemis is the grandson of the actor who played Quint in the first Jaws film.
Carto Darko
Carto Darko:
This just in: Jesus Christ hates Disney
Shane Rowell
Shane Rowell:
"First time huh?" - Percy Jackson fans.
Sergeant Sicilian
Sergeant Sicilian:
"I only dozed off for split seconds." Oh that's what it always seems
Tamer Pino
Tamer Pino:
I had loved artemis fowl so much, seeing the trailor made me so dissapointed. I waited on this movie for YEARS.
LuckyFubber.
LuckyFubber.:
I feel bad for the Actor that played Artemis. That boy better find good work.
ヤーングprxnce
ヤーングprxnce:
“Artemis Fowl is a pretty good book”

Disney: _you mean money?_
Mikah Herrera
Mikah Herrera:
The emotionless chracter of artemis fowl is exacctly how imagined him from the books. He shows no emotion and relies on his thinking. Ig doesnt potray to well on screen.
Rääh
Rääh:
Lol. My mom watched you talk for 3 sec and said: "Is that Jesus that is speaking."

And yes we are both drunk.

Edit: "Wasn't Jesus lightly more blond"
John Buxton
John Buxton:
The movie was just a bunch of rough-cuts of the actors practicing their lines that were then hastily edited together and pushed onto Disney+.
Red Tiger
Red Tiger:
Haven’t seen the movie. But kinda wanna watch it now after Charlie’s blistering roast.
Shane
Shane:
Read the books, Artemis Fowl is the greatest example of "The book is better than the movie" that I've ever seen
Duck Man
Duck Man:
“I was dozing off for a little bit” I actually fell asleep like within 19 minutes of this movie
Bill Stern
Bill Stern:
This is the one series of books whose plot I can still remember most of.
Also don't forget there were good VHS movies, the brave little toaster, the brave little toaster goes to Mars, Whinnie the Pooh and the blustery day.
sam clukey
sam clukey:
I watched this movie the other night with my little brothers. Even my 8 year old brother appreciated the absurdity of the plot.
Shysterling28
Shysterling28:
The real travesty here is that they changed every copy of the book in existence to reflect the movie's script.
Like damn, how'd they even do that?
Levi
Levi:
That “that’s it, see ya.” was by far the most depressing tone Charlie has had for the outro. What did this movie do to him?
DieselexKore
DieselexKore:
“Raid boss”

Destiny players liked that.
Strategy Gaming
Strategy Gaming:
I've been wanting a movie of Artemis Fowl for years as it was my favorite book when I was young but when I first saw that Disney was going to make a movie out of it I knew it was fucked. I knew this would happen and hoped at least they would follow the plot, even if they wouldn't follow the style of the comic (which in my mind almost perfectly portrayed the characters) but alas it's Disney.
Taimur Ahmed
Taimur Ahmed:
This is the same thing I think about the movie "Sorry to bother you"
Corey Smith
Corey Smith:
"It feels like a movie that would have come out in the late 90's"
Funnily enough that is when the movie adaption was first announced lol
Foggy Narcoleptic
Foggy Narcoleptic:
Maybe Disney wanted to see if they could outdo A Wrinkle In Time...
ocay
ocay:
Funny thing is, I was reading the book when school was still In session and my friend said “they’re making a movie on Artemis Fowl” and I just said that wouldn’t be good and I was right
Casa Nova
Casa Nova:
This sounds like I have to write a skit in 5 minutes for English class.
Bittersweet Lemons
Bittersweet Lemons:
People who've read the book: you have no idea how much pain I'm in
My penis Is extremely small and
My penis Is extremely small and:
You know Charlie is upset when he stutters a lot
Cuh Shark
Cuh Shark:
I'm not exactly sure how Disney got ahold of the script that I wrote in 4th grade, but I'm glad to see it finally adapted to the big screen.
B100dyShad0w
B100dyShad0w:
Him mentioning Chris Stuckmann was like a 90s cartoon crossover cameo
Mikey Suarez
Mikey Suarez:
"some of the most convincing people are natural born liar they usually called politicians"






But this guy is not a politician
Imprez
Imprez:
The books were so so so so so good, my whole childhood

I'm very sad the movies are such a disgrace
Robert Brazier
Robert Brazier:
Huh, I've never seen the movie but I did enjoy reading the series. I hate when movie adaptations go wrong
Christian Rosales
Christian Rosales:
Charlie needs to make a moist meter for bad movies.
Moldy Meter.
JarsOfGloop
JarsOfGloop:
Another thing about Artemis Fowl, the character who instantly became friends with Artemis in the movie (her name is Holly) actually has a great sub plot in the books about overcoming her people's sexist nature by being the first female police officer. But all of that is suddenly diminished in the movie because the commander of the police was changed to a girl in this...and people hate Holly because her dad stole the Acorn Macguffin??? This is weird to me because why won't they have this in the movie.
Disney seems to have no problem adding pseudo-woke feminism in their live-action remakes (like Aladdin or Beauty and the Beast) that didn't need them in the first place. But when adapting this, when they clearly have canon material from the book to work off of, they suddenly just don't use it.(???)
phallus36
phallus36:
I remember loving the books when I was younger, I'm scared of watching the movie now and have that ruined
Pc-98 Fan
Pc-98 Fan:
The fact the scenes in the trailer aren't in the movie is like Ubisoft releasing a new trailer with no actual gameplay
Caleb Hall
Caleb Hall:
Artemis is actually supposed to be a kinda flat character.
king queen
king queen:
after your performance in hunger games, i’m sure they would’ve had a hit if they casted you in it instead
michael oltman
michael oltman:
It’s upsetting how bad this movie is. The books were fantastic.
George
George:
you sound like my dad when he watches a wildwest movie
Nothing Nothing
Nothing Nothing:
Disney: You haven't read the books, don't worry we didn't either!
Tesco Bag
Tesco Bag:
I would like to apologise as this movie was filmed where I live.

But I haven't watched t and cant and wont, my mate watched it and said you cant recognise anywhere here
Jacob Morrison
Jacob Morrison:
It’s so sad how good the books were and how shitty the film is
Carne Guisada
Carne Guisada:
Imagine how tired we(book fans) are. Imagine how tired we are.
Druvis Eglite
Druvis Eglite:
What movie? There was none at all? That was the Artemis Fowl, Eragon, Avatar: The Last Airbender, Mortal Engines fans would want to leave to fade into nothingness in a dark corner of a dumpster.
Leeton Uchiha
Leeton Uchiha:
It was fine to watch during my work from home shift but if that was my "Friday night movie" I would've been way more upset haha objectively horrible, but nice to see attention on a dead ass book series from my childhood. Love you Charlie <3
Michael McDoesn'tExist
Michael McDoesn'tExist:
I knew based off the trailers like months ago that this was gonna be the Dragon Ball Evolution of the Artemis Fowl series
Complex Gear
Complex Gear:
Such a shame that my favorite children’s book series was gifted such a terrible movie. This movie was supposed to come out like 15 years ago, guess we found out why.
Jake Holder
Jake Holder:
As someone who loves the books, this is the worst thing that could possibly happen to the series, the books are much better and completely different, if the characters had different names, I would hardly see a connection
crows
crows:
one minute in i’m crying damn chill 😭😭🤣🤣🤣🤣
Jude
Jude:
this is such a shame to hear. i remember loving these books, reading all 8 or 9 of them, and then thinking “this is gonna be a big movie franchise one day.” guess i was wrong
Calista Freeland
Calista Freeland:
I loved the books when I was younger...this is just sad
John Whitters
John Whitters:
They had the budget to make the Artemis Fowl movie good, but they decided to not follow the plot of the book. I can't believe they thought gutting the plot of book and adding shit was a good idea.
Lucas Pelt
Lucas Pelt:
The entire movie feels like single scene imo
QatQuest
QatQuest:
I loved Artemis Fowl books, I'm gonna skip this
Ryan Akwar
Ryan Akwar:
Judi Dench did Cats and Artemis Fowl. One more flop and she'll need a John Travolta esque comeback.
Meenie
Meenie:
This makes me want to watch it more for some reason lol
Quincy Croft
Quincy Croft:
Disney probably saved themselves for not releasing this in theaters.
Syafraa Husna Mutazakki
Syafraa Husna Mutazakki:
Recently watch from pitch meeting about this movie, yeah it's totally failed.
BootyEater
BootyEater:
I don’t think I’ve ever seen Charlie this pissed at a movie
The EDC Ginger
The EDC Ginger:
Directions unclear: I now have a small child and a fairy in a jar help
J T
J T:
1:53 well, yes but actually, no
Kinoksis
Kinoksis:
I hope that people don't harass the kid for this role, the last thing we need is another Jake Lloyd scenario.
Azntim9
Azntim9:
Jesus reviews artemis fowl
Josh
Josh:
Sounds like he rates this movie an ‘Artemis FOUL’ 😉
Funny Bunny
Funny Bunny:
I saw this come up in my notification and was like "oh another trash disney movie"
And ended up seeing it later, *not even able to get through the first 20 minutes*
hamuka
hamuka:
it says something that, even though this is a disney movie with a budget of 150 million bucks, i have not heard a single word about this movie before the reviews rolled in
i had no idea it was even a thing
how is that even possible
Diogo Mendes
Diogo Mendes:
I remember reading most of the books as a child and I absolutely loved it , I was so hyped for the movie , but then they basically murdered my childhood fantasies of being in Artemis fowl's shoes

The movie was utter trash