Najnowsze wiadomości w ciągu 24 godzin
Najpopularniejsze tematy według daty
Najpopularniejsze tematy według tygodnia
Najpopularniejsze tematy co miesiąc
Najpopularniejsze tematy według roku
Diabulimia: The World's Most Dangerous Eating Disorder
Diabulimia is where people with Type 1 diabetes deliberately give themselves less insulin than they need, for the purpose of weight loss.
Gemma, Nabeelah and Becky are some of thousands of people who suffer from Diabulimia. Usual eating disorder treatment does not work, but medical experts hope to change that.
If you have been affected by the issues raised in this documentary, the following organisations within the UK may be able to help:
Click here to subscribe to BBC Three:
Did you know that we’re up to other things in other places too?
Best of BBC Three:
Oh, we’re on Snapchat too - just incase you were wondering… add us, bbcthree.
Supporting someone with diabulimia | Diabetes UK
Recovering from diabulimia | Diabetes UK
Milionerzy. Czego nie ma pluskwa domowa? Co napędza kerozyna? Diabulimia - co to? Kto nagminne choruje na zapalenie przyusznic? :: Magazyn :: RMF FM
My doc laughed at me when I told him that I‘m skipping insulin to loose weight. He doesn’t even know that thats an actual disease. I’m sad that nobody cares
The mind is a scary place.....
my friend had this disorder. She died 3 months ago. I'm not lying. It was so sad and hard for me. I dint even now I thought she was anorexic at first but she was eating. Then I thought she had bulimia and followed her after she ate and she didn't. I was so confused. She told me she had diabetes and I didn't know why she did. But now it all makes sense. She looked like a skeleton. i knew she was bullied and was called fat but I stood up for her and i had no idea she was doing this to herself. Then one day she told me what she did. I still remember exactly what she said. "I know you think I have a eating disorder. And its true. I have diabulmia." I didn't know what it was. I looked it up. That was the day she died. I tried so hard to help her but this happened instead. i'm crying right now.
In America, it is the unaffordability of insulin that is keeping diabetics from taking it.
THIS IS FOR WHOEVER HAS DIABETES:
TAKE YOUR INSULIN YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL AND DON'T NEED TO LOSE WEIGHT 💖
"Do you miss your sister that died" come on I'm sure you can ask a more sensitive question
The girl saying that her vision is getting worse, numbness in hands and feet, headaches etc... those are complications of chronic high blood glucose levels and those things can be avoided by using her insulin properly.... breaks my heart
People literally dying to be thin. Great job, fat shamers. Feckin well done.
I am suffering from this.
I was bullied as a kid because i was very chubby, but started to randomly just drop 30kg in 2 months when i was 14 and diagnosed with t1d. i noticed people being nicer to me as i became slimmer so i thought THAT must be the key. So, in my honeymoonphase where i didnt need insulin for almost 3 years, i developed severe anorexia.
then my diabetes came back and my weight started creeping up to the point where i had 15 extra kilos again. I counted 2 and 2 together and just stopped taking any insulin, being perfectly fine (at a bloodsugar of 500 and above) for months... until i turned 19 last year.
my first coma was on my moms birthday in july 2018. she rushed me to hospital herself because she was so scared, she didnt even remember the emergency number. i stayed unconcious for 3 days and it needed another 5 to actually have all my brain functions back (as in thinking straight, seeing 20/20 and talking). However, that didnt hold me back from doing the same again as soon as i was out of hospital, even though i started therapy (which wasnt helping, they called my ED "EDNOS" and didnt know shit about diabetes. they thought i was suicidal and therefor dont take my meds.)
fast forward to november 18, another coma, also lost feeling in my toes. 2 days and potassium levels of below 2 that didnt go up and therefor eventually ending up with 3 iv, one in my neck. When i was released my dumb ass didnt learn again.
Not even a month later, christmas: I lost 10kg in 3 weeks, my kidneys hurt like theyre on fire, wasnt able to eat or drink anything and slept all day every day. My family celebrated and i was sleeping.. The same christmasnight they go to the hospital with me, just to be sure. Im yelling and screaming that i dont want and need to, but was so weak and underweight at that point, that i couldnt even walk by myself. BUT FINALLY they opened my eyes.
I never want to miss christmas or NYE ever again. I dont want to see my parents and my brother cry ever again. Im injecting my insulin correctly sinnce almost a month, which is the longest time yet. Luckily, i gained back most of the feeling in my feet! Yes, the thought of losing weight and not taking my insulin haunts me day and night, but the faces of my family do too...
EDIT OCT 2019:
Wow im overwhelmed by all of these comments. Thank yall so much for your kind words. Sadly, i relapsed 2 times this year. My breaking point was August this year when i lost feelings in my feet again and had a very miserable time while on vacation. I started working out, lifting weights and was also finally able to get a pump. I do Intermittent fasting as well and while i might not lose that much weight, my bloodsugar looks great lately and i start feeling comfortable again. I will even return to University (medicine) because i truly feel like lifting and the people around me helped me recover. Its the longest time ive ever had stable bloodsugars and i feel motivated :)
There was a lot of love within that Muslim family.
Omg...at 19:28 the mom found out about her daughter skipping two weeks worth of insulin....the look on her face is devastating. Her parents had no clue and they look so worried for her. I’ve never heard of this, I didn’t even know insulin caused weight gain since the two people I know that have it are relatively thin. Now I want to talk to them and ask them questions just to do mental health checks. It hurt my heart that all three girls are so sick. The statistics in this are truly shocking. Just wow!
The parents at 19:30 reacted perfectly. Of course instinctively most parents get angry or panic and cry and try to force their children to eat or in this case inject.
But these parents smiled, told her they loved her, held their fear inside, the mum held her hand and said she would check her sugars now and then and asked if that was okay. They didn't push her or panic her, they didn't throw lots of threats around. She felt comfortable and they made her feel like she could go to them. A person with an ED is not in control, they're mentally ill, it is not their fault, when a parent treats them like they're in the wrong and thrusts authority on them they're not creating a bridge for them to be honest.
These parents were so wonderful. They kept calm, they surrounded her with positivity and offered her help. This young lady is so lucky to have such amazing parents.
Milys Magic Pen:
As a diabetic
I'm in tears right now
Cuz only us know how hard it is to manage this illness..
Nabeelah's parents seem awesome, her Dad especially. What a lucky girl to have such understanding, loving, calm and considerate parents.
Unfortunately I suffered from this. I've been a type 1 diabetic since the age of 3. I also suffered from Body Dysmorphia, anxiety and depression. I supressed my insulin. Lost 3 stone but lost 50% of my eyesight. Heartbreaking.
i’m so sorry to everyone who’s ever been through this :(
never heard of this until now. i'm shocked.
Nabila’s parents made me cry. They were so sweet and kind to her...especially her daddy. I love that he made her smile when he said “that’s naughty” she knew he was concerned but it took some of the pressure off...and her mum!....she’s so sweet too it must have given her some power back when her mother said she would occasionally check her sugars but asked her if that was alright with her. She is a very blessed young lady. She’s the only one that I heard a parent tell her he loved her “always and forever”. That’s really what she needs. This girl will recover.
Nabeelah's parents are so amazing and supportive. Her mom manages to laugh and smile, but look at her eyes. She is is so sad and scared for her daughter. I hope this family finds healing.
"It's not admirable to have a mental illness or an eating disorder." An eating disorder is a mental illness.
I suffered from this for 5 years. I was 36 when I started omitting insulin. I got hooked on being skinny, then I actually became scared of taking too much insulin. Finally phobic of taking any at all. I was drinking litres of water, always tired, grumpy, and had thrush everywhere.
Finally I ended up in intensive care, my rights being read...my mum was warned I was in danger of multi organ failure. My nerves are ruined, my heart rate is all over the place, blood pressure is up and down for no reason, I can faint if I stand up too quickly, I’ve also had bowel cancer which I’m convinced is linked to years of mismanaging my blood sugar levels. I ca no longer work due to the fact my body just doesn’t work as it should.
All because I wanted to be skinny. My metabolism is also shot so I’ve put on so much weight that I’m slowly losing - but properly this time, portion control, walking, and battling with my head to take insulin as I should. I now have an insulin pump which helps enormously..
It sent just young girls who suffer this. I was in my 30s, a teacher and I knew what I was doing..I just kidded myself it couldn’t kill me. Until it very nearly did, I will always battle the demon to stop taking insulin, but I REALLY want to live...
My daughter can't go a day without insulin any more. She is so brittle with her diabetes that literally one missed dose set her blood sugars off. She has been in the habit of not covering for food, missing doses, it's mentally exhausting for T1D. I have watched my outgoing girl become isolated and depressed, granted she will go for walks in the garden and to ride a skateboard but mentally she is exhausted from this disease. She has made it so that now she is easily in and out of the hospital and constantly changing her regiments. It is sad to watch how difrently others are affected by this illness, what upsets me.is how society has put such a stigma on it. Simply taking insulin is not a cure, it is a bandage, there's so much more involved mentally, physically and emotionally not just to those with the illness but to their family as well. My daughter was 9 when she was diagnosed in 2012, although it has been almost 6 years this Christmas every day has been hard. Having to learn a crash course on diabetes care to managing carbs and sick days. Everyday we learn something new and everyday we keep getting stronger. Only now 14 she already has neuropathy, so young to already have complications.
It's terrifying because these young, young people are having multi-organ-system disease the likes of which I see in 70+ year old patients who've had decades of poorly controlled diabetes. Most of the damage is irreversible and leads to lifelong disability - amputations, blindness, heart attack, stroke, kidney failure. And yet the disease process that controls the dials of a relatively well-understood medical condition is entirely psychiatric in nature - the weakest link in most western health systems. We have a long ways to go in treating patients holistically.
Nibeelas parents are so very sweet and gosh you can see how they try to be as understanding as possible but the worry in the mothers eyes are so deep, they love their daughter so much. I hope that love gives her strength to see how beautiful she is and how much love is worth living for...
Nabeelah's family clearly loves her very much. You can see their sadness, shock, worry, fear for her and love for her, all at the same time.
It really upsets me that even though the girl wants to be hospitalized, nobody offers her a bed. Like, what?! So many girls with eating disorders that don't want to be seen by a doctor and she has the courage to do it and she is rejected. :(
I was diagnosed with T1D in 2000 when I was 21. I did this to myself off and on through my 20s and 30s, not even knowing that it has a name. I’m now on an insulin pump, and HATING the numbers on the scale. It’s still a daily battle to not restrict. 😕
What a wonderfully supportive dad! Asking all the right questions and not making her feel bad about it
Going through it currently and i've been in the hospital 4 times just because I couldn't even form sentences and fell ill as well as I was throwing up, even while hunching over a trash bin I still decided to fake taking my shot in front of my mom.
Currently, I still think about not taking it, I had lost 20 pounds in about a month or so. But now I don't ever feel good, whether my blood is high or low. Sometimes I think about doing it again, whats the harm right? Then I do it and feel so happy i'm losing weight but the next day I can't even walk to the scale.
Whoevers thinking about it- don't. I know, I know, I read so many articles telling me not to do it but I just said "fuck it" and "this would never happen to me" or "I'll just make sure I only do it every now and then" no, don't. It's an addiction, whether you lie to yourself or not.
This comment is going to get lost in the sea of comments.
Hannah de Groot:
The mental health part about type 1 diabetes is so hard to understand for outsiders. They don't seem to get it and that's what makes it so hard to get help.
Nabeela's parents are trying to really understand her and everything she is going through and I find it so heart warming. You can tell they're trying to understand ❤️
I'm almost crying, that one girl's parents just love her so much. I don't normally say crap like this, but she's truly blessed.
We should all promote the Internet banning videos of mukbang as they r major causes to trigger binge eating as they encourage people to mimic the food challenge etc. In fact lots of competitive eater secretly vommit after shooting video. Symptoms are puffy face and deep slushy voice.
the scene where the muslim girl was sitting with her parents had me in tears. Ugh, could feel the complexity of the pain going on there. Prayers for all of the young women on the show and their families
It really is a wake up call... I have type 1 Diabetes and I have thought before about just not taking my insulin but now I know I will definitely not do that.
I've never heard of this. Its sad this hasnt been spoken about more.
Damn this must be a brutal thing to have knowing that you can just lose all the weight you want by stopping the injections, but at the risk of severe health decline and even death.
It's like this miracle drug has been handed to them but hidden contents are this deadly side affect with the potential to kill.
When I was in residential for anorexia, my friend had this. I have celiac (basically a gluten allergy) we're constantly taught NOT to read the labels on food, because it encourages us to focus on calories/fat/carbs etc. Type 1 diabetes and celiac both have pretty high rates of eating disorders. It was frustrating during treatment when we'd receive our snacks and people would say "stop reading the label!" And we both would be like we HAVE to read it so we don't DIE!!
When her father said "Love you babes. Remember that. Always and forever." 😭 Would break my heart if my child ever felt this. Ever suffered this and felt they had to do it alone. Bless them all 💖
So sad. I remember I used to have severe anorexia between the ages of 11-16 (including recovery) and it nearly killed me. I now look back at pictures and I have no idea how I thought I was fat. I was literally skin and bone and at risk for cardiac arrest. Just goes to show how powerful it is.
As a diabetic I never thought about how other disorders can effect me differently. This opened my eyes
Nabeela's story hurt my heart. Mostly because she was afraid of their reactions but her mom, she knew. You can see how hard she's working to keep herself together. They seem to really love her. I hope she is doing well now.
As a future nurse this is great awareness because I’ve never heard of this!
way to raise much-needed awareness for this through making the video. i didn't hear about it until now
I had this disorder for years and got severe complication Out of this like having my eyes surgery 6 times and a heart attack. Doctors dont take this serious my mom and my doctors ignored this even after being hospitalized every week or too . I had to come out of this by myself and it was the hardest thing ever ( this started at 13 and ended at 19 ) I am now 24 and taking my insulin everyday. Theres always that Voice in my head, an eating disorder will Always be in you you just have tk fight it. Im glad I overcame this and am at a healthy weight and diet. Im from Portugal and I know many diabetics have this disorder.you are not Alone but remember it is NOT worth it .
for once in your life:
The love Nabeelah's parents have for her is so palpable. Read the comments about the love and concern they had for her, but I was not prepared. Beautiful.
The eating disorder monster in me, that I fight everyday, is jealous of them. And I feel so guilty because this isn’t something to be jealous of, this is something you should be sad and wished to help these people.
A girl that was ni my treatment died a few months ago... This is real. Eating disorder are real.
Not everyone with an eating disorder is skin and bone and i love that this video has focused on the mental illness side of it rather than physical appearance
I know the "scared straight" tactics don't work, but I wish it had for me.
Diagnosed at 8 w t1d, A1Cs between 15-17 until roughly age 26; severe neuropathy in my feet/shins; 5 inpt hospitalizations for ketoacidosis/EDNOS; legally blind and kidney transplant (all shortly after I turned 26); osteoporosis and a cardiac stent placed in a coronary artery that was 90% blocked (completed 3 weeks ago)...
Bottom line, I'm a 41 yo woman who stopped being able to drive at 26 bc of my poor eyesight. I can't have kids, and have an odd-looking gait when I walk bc my feet are becoming malformed from the neuropathy.
I know my story is like so many others around the world. But what I know is that even today, which is the 15th anniversary of my kidney transplant, I still have more days than not where I consider not taking all of my insulin (and am ashamed to admit that sometimes I still leave off a few units). I still want the perfect body and simultaneously knowing that this dream becomes farther and farther out of reach. This will never be my reality since all of the abuse I've put my body through has caused complications and self-loathing that far exceeds any that I started with in the first place.
I wish I could start over. I hate being that person who lives with regrets; there's nothing worse than watching life pass you by and having no one but you to blame for it. I wish I chose to experience life w excitement instead of fear, and with gratitude over self-sorrow, and finally, that I made decisions based solely in love and acceptance. I pray that each one of us, w or w/out diabetes and EDs, choose to feed our bodies, minds, and souls with positivity and joy.
Thank you for allowing me to explain. Be kind to yourself and to each other.🦋
Oh my lord Nabeelas family is beautiful. So kind and understanding 😍
Type 1 diabetes is hard to live with for a lot of people. It's assumed to be easy "once you manage it". But it's the managing it that's the stressful part and contrary to what you're told, it is very hard to live with. There isn't enough support. I recall being at a hospital appointment and overhearing secretaries laughing about how certain people skip appointments because they've "been bold and want to fix it so they don't get into trouble" as though it's a joke.... this video really hit home for me
I can relate to this. I have schizophrenia. When you are schizophrenic and you dont take your meds you will develop psychosis and risk further damage to your brain because the longer the psychosis lasts the more the generall brain function will suffer. I know a lot sufferes especally woman who refuse to take their meds as not taking their medication makes them loose weight quick . They will even risk long-term damage for a slimmer body. You wont die as it is whit Diabulimia but you risk getting sicker and sicker and even having to life in an assisted living facility because you cant function on your own or constantly hearing voices etc. Its just sick that we life in a world where people would jepordize their mental health in order to look thin.
I've never heard of this, but thanks for the awareness!
This has got to be the scariest ED ever. :(
I’ve never heard of this. Thank you for the awareness.
The Indian girl she's strong 2 weeks without insulin that's a long time without insulin and no DKA I'm shocked the max I can do is 24hours then I get dragged to ICU and Resuscitation Unit.
God ,please cure this girls .. and all the other who's suffering the same
Nabeelah’s mom making me cry y’all.
That conversation with her parents made me tear up.. They are lovely and I hope she gets better, I hope they all do.
big boi _:
It feels kind of refreshing to find another type one diabetic on the internet, cuz I see a lot of type 2 diabetics or “normal” people in general. It kind of takes that lonely feeling away from being a type one diabetic, because others like me always seem to be so far away. Even if they’re not.
I also like the fact that this video explains the basic needs of a diabetic, cuz I’m pretty sure all of us have to go through the trouble of trying to explain why we inject ourselves.. :P
This killed my cousin...I miss him.
Can I just say that I am so sorry for you all and my name is Evie as well I hope you all get better xxxxxx
Not going to lie, with my weight problems, I can't say I wouldn't have this same problem.
I was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes last year, every day I try so hard to not fall into this trap. I keep thinking, with my eye sight as bad as it is, I want to drive a car. I don't want to lose the feeling in my hands and feet. I want to be healthy and able to help my family. And I choose that. But it gets harder sometimes.
Type 1 diabetes is so overwhelming - this video is shocking so sad and stressful for everyone
damn i can remember when i was admitted into the hospital and diagnosed with type 1 diabetes they said i had lots 40 pounds from lack of insulin and right then i knew that i could use that to my advantage.. i didn't know it was a real disorder tho.
I fought with this disorder when I was in my early twenties I'm 54 now and a survivor but there is something people should know about this disorder which parents tend to forget is that not only do you have to watch out for symptoms of it's relapse ,you also have to watch for any other symptoms that we will substitute in it's place. This is very important for continued healing. It does and will become easier.
I’m a type one diabetic and I’m thirteen years old. I can’t believe that 60% of young girls like me will develop diabulimia but as I think of it, it sadly makes sense. I’m so glad I saw this because I have had really low self esteem and I have been unhappy with my body. I had no idea how dangerous it is to have an eating disorder with diabetes.
Wow. I was not aware that this was an issue among some diabetics. I hope that these ladies turned out ok.
It hurt my heart when I saw Nabeela's mother be so reassuring and then quietly look off into the distance with all her worry written on her face.
"love you babes, always and forever" that made me tear up
I would love to see where they all are now x I hope they are all doing well xxxx
i know a lot about diabates and when she showed that her glucose level was 43 i got a bit worried because a normal level is 100 (what a person without diabetes would have).
if she has 43 means she has way less sugar in her blood than she should, that means she probably doesnt have much energy to do things a sane person would do on a daily basis. its very dangerous bc she could faint at any moment (bc the brain isnt receiving much sugar) and she could never wake up again.
in that case she should eat something with sugar to stabilize the sugar levels, but she clearly cant bc of her mental state.
this is really sad bc this diabetes has nothing to do with being fat, and not eating is just as dangerous as eating too much
Thanks for the awareness of this, didn't know this was a thing, makes me feel really emotional that people go through this. Big love and hugs to those who feel they need to do this <3
The worry in the Bengali mum's eyes is heartbreaking... I hope all the girls get better soon.
Nabeela"s mom broke my heart. You can see in her eyes the agony and pain of her daughter's situation. I hope all of them are doing ok.
What an eye opening episode! Made me cry to be perfecrly honest! I hope that people going through this can get help they need. It is such a hard thing to remind yourself you ARE BEAUTIFUL! I hope that worldwide awareness will help this issue. We are all beautiful in our own ways. You can do this! You are worth it! You are beautiful! I hope anyone going through any kind of eating disorder has someone to remind them of their beauty! Please never give up! Stay strong! God bless! 💕
There are many eating disorders that most dont know about.
Wow my ex did this but I didnt know it was an actual eating disorder that many people have
Lexi Lost In wonderland:
Even though eating disorder are serious why aren't people offer more help. I tried seeking help and got turned down because I wasn't sick enough says my doctor. I've had bulimia for 10yrs and constantly being told I wasn't sick because I didn't look like a anorexic, it made me give up because I feel as if I have no problem that bulimia is normal and I'm not gonna be taken seriously until I'm on my death bed.
I have had type one diabetes for 17 years. Even though the condition isn’t caused by diet and weight, they still play a massive role with this condition. Having T1D forces you to look at the food you’re eating and the amounts carbs, protein and fat being consumed. If you suffer from self confidence because of weight related issue, then this way of living life 24/7 can have a pretty negative impact on the mind.
What’s really sad is that if you’re not an ideal weight by society’s standard, people will often treat you as if you are an invisible being not worthy of attention. Then if you lose weight, people start being much nicer and friendly towards you. This way of being will only encourage the person to continue self destructing with their eating disorder, which is rather sad and toxic. Regardless of what your weight is, you are not a different person at all, yet sadly we live in a toxic culture full of shallow and intolerant people.
This is why I don’t trust people and am happy being alone for the most part. I have only a few close friends and that’s it. Because why should I have toxic people in my life who will never Love me for the person that I am?
Nabeelah's parents are some powerful parents. Their love actully glows and radiates.
I have Type 1, but I've never had diabulimia thank heavens ... I really feel for these people.Type 1 is unmanageable enough on it's own. This disease is so mentally and physically exhausting. For me, it's all mental. The problem is so many medical professionals have literally no idea about it and don't understand how to help a patient with it. This disease is not 2 + 2 = 4. It's not simply taking your requisite insulin dose. There are so many variables that affect blood sugar and the catch-22 is that the insulin is the poison and yet we need it so we can live. It's hard to explain for people who don't have Type 1 or who don't have immediate family who have it. The artificial insulin functions as successfully as giving a three-year-old some fingerpaints and expecting them to produce the Mona Lisa compared to Nature's masterpiece of careful blood sugar/insulin regulatory systems that a healthy person has.
I was diagnosed when I was 21 and it has taken me 9 years to accept my Type 1. During that time I had huge grief for my previous healthy self, went through so much counselling which did zilch. It came to the point that my GP got frustrated that I wasn't taking my Type 1 seriously enough and told me "you could go blind, have your legs amputated". This wasn't illuminating. Type 1's know what's coming, we're terrified by the prospect of a slow death by complications. What really helped me however, was when that same GP's son was diagnosed with, ironically, Type 1. I saw something change in my GP's eyes the next time I saw her. It was understanding. I didn't feel like I had to explain why I wasn't coping anymore ... there was no pressure. Finally, finally, I felt like I could be brave. I felt like I wasn't a failure at this Type 1 thing anymore. I could accept what life had taken away and given me instead. Finally, I had a medical professional that I could see wasn't silently judging, wasn't saying inside their head "why doesn't she just get on with it, there are worse diseases out there".
TL;DR: I hope this comment helps another Type 1 or gives some insight to someone who knows a Type 1. My advice is don't make assumptions about them, don't make judgments about what they should or should not be doing, don't isolate and exclude them from social situations by denying them invitations because there will be sweet foods or chastise them for eating them on the false belief that they shouldn't have them. Just be there for them, be their ally, be a connection for them. It may save their life.
I’ve never heard of this . It was very informative and interesting.
it's good to see them showing a muslim family people seem to think other cultures don't have eds... and it's hard enough within the culture like she was saying without the rest of the world just thinking oh nah you're not a teenage white girl you can't have an ed. i hope she's gotten better inshallah❤
Inaamul Hassan Jaffer:
This documentary is beautiful and inspiring! Value your health, without it, we’re close to nothing🙌🏻
Just got out of treatment one of my close friends has this illness. 💜
I’m student of nutrition and my work conclusion is about Diabulimia, this ED is very dangerous.
The video helps me a lot in my research!
We need to end EDs 🙌🏻
The last time I watched this, my sister wasn’t diabetic, and I never thought this was something that could affect my family. Oh, how times change😔
This really hit home for me. I'm 35 now, but I suffered from diabulimia through most of my early-mid 20's. I was bullied a lot on school for being chubby and I'd always hated my body, but I also hated dieting and exercising. One summer when I was 17 my family noticed I was losing weight even though I was still eating a lot, so from there we learned I had type 2 diabetes, though later it became type 1. When i went back to school I was still noticeably slimmer, and I saw how differently everyone treated me; I wasn't bullied nearly as much for my weight. Once I started taking my medication, however, my weight crept back up. I was terrified of gaining all that weight back and having people treat me horribly again, so I started neglecting to take my meds more and more often. When I was about 19 I ended up in the hospital for ketoacidosis (high blood sugar) and began to have to take insulin shots. That's when my diabulimia really spiraled out of control. I'd skip my insulin for weeks at a time sometimes, and at the time I thought it was the most wonderful thing in the world that I could do what most people only dream of: eat anything I wanted, any amount I wanted, and still be thin. I felt like it was a wish come true, and and while I'd feel a little sick and run down sometimes it wasn't anything I couldn't live with.I thought. I ended up in the hospital more times than I can count for high blood sugar, but they'd always fix me up again and I'd go right back to my same old ways, always promising my family I'd take my diabetes seriously this time but knowing full well it was a lie. I was just so terrified of gaining weight, and at the time I didn't even feel as if I had an eating disorder. All I did was eat and not take my insulin--it was that simple. No starvation, no binging and purging... there was none of that stuff you normally associate with an eating disorder. And my family didn't put 2 and 2 together, either--they thought I was just in denial about having diabetes, when in actuality I almost felt blessed to have it. I also thought I could keep all this up and that it would never catch up to me.
It was about 2005 when I started to get massive rectal abscesses. They were excruciatingly painful, and I'd get them one after another due to my constant state of high blood sugar. I simply couldn't take the pain anymore, so I vowed to start taking at least some of my insulin, though still not as much as I should have. It was soon after that my life went to shit. I began to suffer horrible neuropathy pain over every inch of my body, not just in the hands and feet. It was head to toe, constant burning/electrical pain, all day everyday. There was nothing I could do to stop it, no drug or pain medication that eased the suffering. Every inch of my skin was constantly on fire. I couldn't even bear to wear clothes, or stand the weight of a blanket against me. I spent over a year laying in bed, naked, on satin sheets, and even those hurt when they touched me. I was nearly skeletal, weighing only 90 lbs at one point, but not because I wasn't taking my insulin like I was supposed to, but because I'd given up eating. A part of me was hoping I'd starve to death. I wanted to die everyday. And the worst part was no one knew what the hell was wrong with me. I went to specialist after specialist, but no one had any answers. I didn't know if I'd ever recover from whatever was causing the pain, and there wasn't a day that went by that I didn't think about suicide. The only thing that kept me alive was the thought of my mom coming home and finding me dead. I hated myself for ever letting it get to this point, cursed myself for not just taking my insulin all those years ago. I was finally stick-thin like I'd always wanted to be, but the price i paid was higher than I'd ever imagined. Nothing was worth the hell I'd allowed myself to fall into.
After a year or so of this torture I ended up having to go see a counselor for depression, much as I didn't want to leave my house, and it was only though the purest of luck that she knew a woman who'd gone through the same neuropathy pain I was currently experiencing. We met and she took me to a doctor who could finally help me, and for the first time since it had started I had hope. Just that meant more to me than anything. I slowly but surely began to recover, and about early 2007 I was living my life again. And while I was eternally grateful to be given a second chance, I was also unfortunately a hard learner.
A few years went by and you guessed it--the weight began to creep back up again. With that I began to slip back into my old habits. Sometimes it takes us more than once to learn a lesson, especially when we're young and stupid. The neuropathy began once more, and I was right back in bed, miserable and hating myself for doing this to myself AGAIN. But this time the lesson stuck. I began not only accepting my diabetes (wanting to deny I had a disease was also a factor in why I ended up where I did), but also accepting that I'd never be as thin as I wanted to be unless I was horribly sick and in terrible pain. I've not backslid since then, and am working on being healthy rather than skinny. It took me a very long time to accept my situation and my body and just learn to live with things the way they are. Now I check my sugar regularly and keep much better control over my numbers.
I had a terrible experience with this not-very-well-known eating disorder and it almost cost me my life more than once, and there were more times than not while i was going through the worst of the pain I honestly would have preferred death. I just hope if you've read this far and are living with diabulimia, are maybe even thinking it's a dream come true like I did once, I hope my story can perhaps inspire you to get help. I don't want anyone to have to suffer the way I did, to have to give up so many years of your life being in and out hospitals, and especially to end up living with pain so awful that you think death is the only way out. I'm glad a documentary like this exists to shed some light on this very much overlooked and misunderstood health problem.
We are all BEAUTIFUL!! WE ARE ALL HUMAN! YOUR LIFE MATTERS MORE! Please....I just....want you to live.....😥
I’ve never in my life heard of this, there should be more awareness about this
There is unconditional love for in that young teenager’s family.
I am Diabetic
And it is a horrible struggle every single day
Thinking if i could eat this or that. Then inyecting ...
I DO NOT WISH THIS SICKNESS ON ANYONE
I know that was a difficult conversation for the Muslim family, especially considering the family/cultural norms, but overall they handled it pretty well. Very obvious that they are a loving and supportive family. Hopefully all works out well.
When I was a youth I sufferd from this, spent many years traumatizing my family and friends. Some days I can feel my eating disorder in the back of my mind. For those who have this know you are not alone.
When I heard this girl had diabetes I was just like “hey, my sister has that”
This was eye opening. I never heard of this before. 🙏
I'm glad I had the time to watch this. I like how this was set up. Thank you