LEA MICHELE: THE PSYCHOLOGY OF A BULLY: 9 Ways To Stop A Bully At Work | Shallon Lester

LEA MICHELE: THE PSYCHOLOGY OF A BULLY: 9 Ways To Stop A Bully At Work | Shallon Lester
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Glee star #LeaMichele is being called a nightmare to work with and a bully after Samantha Ware and other former costars came forward to slam her "disgusting behavior." I'll tell you 9 scientifically-backed ways to deal with a bully at work and tell you the psychology of a bully!
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?About Shallon Lester?

Got a love, dating or friendship question? You've come to the right place! I'm Shallon Lester, a two-time published author, NYC magazine editor and star of Howcast's viral kissing videos. I spill the tea on celebs like Kylie Jenner, the Kardashians, Beyonce, Shawn Mendes, Justin Bieber, Hailey Baldwin, Rihanna and more, breaking down their relationships, scandals and psychology to see what lessons WE can learn, and give you no-nonsense advice and real-world tips on everything from dating apps and players, to family and friends!

100+ komentarze:

Shallon Lester
Shallon Lester:
If you guys want to read the article this is sourced from here ya go! ❤️https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/how-be-yourself/201706/9-tips-manage-adult-bullying
fifi vogel
fifi vogel:
Maybe that’s why she was on ellen so many times hahahahaha
Kels Kels
Kels Kels:
Remember when Lea Michele thought she was going to be the next Barbara Streisand? Life comes at you fast huh 😭😭😭😭
I'd rather face an out and out bully than a passive aggressive friend who secretly hates you. I can atleast punch a bully when they are outwardly mean, friends have hurt me more than a bully.
Eva D
Eva D:
Lea played herself in Glee. Her character thought she was the shit and didn’t want Amber’s character to have the spotlight
Tara O'Neill
Tara O'Neill:
Hold up, MONTANA?! Wow I need this tea. I mean you probably could rent an amazing house for what a tiny New York apartment was so I'm here for that!
I’m glad that people are being held accountable for their behaviour but I hope that we’ll start scrutinising male celebrities as well as female
Angelica Allen
Angelica Allen:
A few years ago I was on set of a show Lea was on. I was with my little sister (we were both fans of her bc of Glee) Lea knew we wanted to say hi so the moment she made eye contact with us she started literally running away, it was so dramatic lol. Her co stars were all like what the heck? saying stuff about her in front of us like that if they had fans there they would never do that to them and that she should be appreciative. It was just super weird and I stopped liking her after that day. All this stuff coming out about her does not surprise me at all.
Keysha Reyes
Keysha Reyes:
Honestly, who's surprised she's a diva?
Beka Nicole
Beka Nicole:
I don’t wanna be shallow but Lea is just as unattractive as her personality I’ve never liked her
Val R.
Val R.:
I know this isn't very work-related but you struck a chord about having no choice but leaving. Several weeks ago my engagement was broken. My ex-future-mother-in-law was one of the reasons why, now I'm 100% convinced she was sociopathic at least to some degree. I suffered two years of her covert verbal abuse, constant digs, and (when she was at her "nicest") weird dismissive behavior towards me. I felt forced into leaving her out of wedding planning because all she ever did was criticize anything I put effort into or try guilting me into doing things her way (I was paying for 99% of the entire thing myself). In the beginning I thought marrying her son was worth putting up with it and, I'd think, he's a reasonable dude he can clearly see what's going on? He'll help enforce a boundary with her if it's affecting me, right? Wrong. Bullies will thrive in their own little kingdom, even if it's just in their house or within their family, as long as they can get at least 1 or 2 people to fear them. The rest of my in-laws claimed they loved me but NEVER even tried talking to her about her behavior, even when she'd publicly insult me. Finally I stood up to her and told her how awful she was, after years of trying relentlessly to kill her with kindness, and my ex-fiancé promptly broke things off. "You know how my mother is you should have just dealt with it." Wow. I was so sad at first but my current peace confirms I dodged a fucking bullet. It sucks but if you've already been targeted, peace is the goal, and this lesson serves to avoid bullies/narcs/overall pathologic people like the plague if you ever identify them. And if you can, putting them in their place immediately.
T S:
Elon Musk was bullied when he was a child but he took karate lessons and learnt to fight back. He even got into a fight with the biggest bully at his school and knocked him down with a single punch. Apparently, the bully never picked on him again. When asked about that in an interview, he said: ''it taught me a lesson. If you're fighting a bully, you cannot appease a bully. You punch the bully in the nose. Bullies are looking for targets that won't fight back. If you make yourself a hard target and punch the bully in the nose, he's going to beat the sh*t out of you but he's actually not going to hit you again''.

So I'm obviously not a fan of violence but you cannot deny there's some truth in these words.
Pretty Glowin
Pretty Glowin:
I've always had a bad feeling about leah-that fake smile of hers and over cheerfulness just rubbed me the wrong way. Side note: Shallon you look extra beautiful with your bangs to the side and the softer eyelashes.
Honestly, I have so much experience with bullies and Lea Michelle has such a negative energy, even if you don't know her, you can just feel it radiating.
Shiny Helix
Shiny Helix:
Lea Michele gives off the same vibe as Camila Cabello. Both not very likeable people, imo.
I had these older female cousins that covert bullied me in my childhood, but when I got older and wiser and was driving back home in a 2 hour drive with them in a car and I missed an exit, one of them whispered "stupid" the other one "ughed" so I simply stopped the car called them out and left them there to face each other. They both apologised eventually and never did that to me again
The decor doesn’t seem like you
It’s weird that Leah Michelle and Emma Roberts are both mega bullies and both are Ryan Murphy’s pets.
Work bullies are the worse especially when they are your higher up. I have some scars from it
Probably why she got the most solos on the show despite Amber clearly having the better and more powerful voice.
Reginald Dove
Reginald Dove:
When someone says, " Just ignore them" , they have either never been bullied, they forgot what it was like to be a kid, or maybe they were a bully at one time...
inward onward outward
inward onward outward:
Montana?! Did not expect that haha. I love that wall paper, so cool!
s a
s a:
I feel like the "sorry you feel that way" starts in daycare. When we are little and someone does something bad, the teacher says "apologize to X" and everytime it's this weak sorry that really means nothing. If little kids could clearly articulate, they would say sorry you feel that way. This type of sorry has no empathy and the more people say it throughout their lives, it seems like it teaches the person that just saying sorry makes it better. I volunteer with little girls (4-7) and i make it a point to validate the victim and get the perpetrator to understand why they hurt the other and apologize... Not sure if there is a better way but if you do know let me know
Selina S
Selina S:
The bully being the boss' pet? Sounds like Lea Michele and Ryan Murphy
T Marie
T Marie:
I truly don’t understand why/how people do this. It seems so draining to be so terrible all the time.
Lindsey Palmer
Lindsey Palmer:
I read somewhere a quote that Narcissists kiss up and kick down
Kiara Co
Kiara Co:
(Havent watched the entire vid yet but I'm watching rn atm)

Lea Michele was so pressed and also apparently crying bc she didnt get the role of Maria from West Side Story. We all know Maria is Latina and shes not... She even added "I even learned Spanish for the role."🙄
Shes literally a Rachel Berry of Glee.
M. McF
M. McF:
Also, Shallon, you're a testament that cancel culture is not always the answer. Your videos are so insightful, you are so open, honest and drop gems constantly.
blythe kai
blythe kai:
I've been a bully to a couple of people (sort of a herd mentality bully in school) and when I after a while, e.g. couple of months snapped out of it, I remembered perfectly the times I said something unnecessary or stupid to those people and ohh the shame. If you don't remember how you treated people like crap you definitely haven't grown past it.
Lol Hailee Steinfeld called it when she recounted her story of trying to meet her and Lea brushing her off,snubbing her. And she was a huge fan too.
Rebecca Bustamante
Rebecca Bustamante:
shallon looks so good omg she’s glowing & her eyes oh wow
The Problem is that sometimes people are already too down and too sad to be able to stand up for themselves, they are already sick (mental Health). It becomes impossible for them to gather the information and go and confront (like you said).
M. McF
M. McF:
I had a workplace bully who ruined my life. I still beat myself up for allowing it lmao
Sandy Britzman
Sandy Britzman:
✨✨Can you PLEASE do a video on YouTuber Myka Stauffer ✨✨ ➡️ on “re-homing” her 2 year old adopted child? She went through the whole process of adopting a son from China, purposefully chose a child with disorders, then told her fans it was too much & her doctor “recommended they rehome him” (pretty sure that’s a term for animals). But only after using him to grow on YouTube for years & got rich 🤷🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️ a lot of people are speculating she’s a narcissist and sociopath??
Thanks for all your awesome content Beautiful 💋♥️♥️
Dawn K
Dawn K:
Wow, girl. Manhattan to Montana? You did a full 180 dua lipa style
Enya Shello
Enya Shello:
I feel like adult bullies are more likely to be psychopathic but children bullies are the ones who need love an encouragement. kids aren’t evil and cruel in a vacuum
bby mocha ツ
bby mocha ツ:
i can't be the only one who's triggered by how her fan base is as toxic as her , still -.-
Sharonella Guccie
Sharonella Guccie:
I wouldn't say she's racist but quite full of herself.
janelle miranda
janelle miranda:
The mean girls in high school are always friends with the teachers
Dorothy Parker
Dorothy Parker:
Bullies learn bullying from their upbringing - mostly
Ezra Kells
Ezra Kells:
This is random BUT I have to say, she’s talented but her tone is annoying.
There’s a girl like this at my work. From the day I started my job, she would tell people she didn’t like me. From what I heard people at work would say “She doesn’t like you and doesn’t know why she just doesn’t like you.” She would always make fun of the way I dress and my weight gain. She’s a couple years older than me and got fired from her “real” job so she is back working at our job now. I believe she is so insecure with herself. She’s black and I’m half white and half Latina. She tries to make everyone at work who is not black seem racist. And blames everything that happens to her on people being “racist.” I’ve even dealt with racism myself for being half Latina so I am very against racism but I don’t blame my Caucasian boss for not giving me enough hours because she is “racist.”
Marie Miller
Marie Miller:
What a good point! Every time I’ve gone to HR for help they’ve found a way to document something I did wrong. They were trying to prevent lawsuits. Wow. So obvious but I needed to hear that.
Where was this video when I was being bullied for 9 months by my coworkers 😩 thank God I left
Luna del Rey
Luna del Rey:
People who disliked this are her bullies who got exposed XD
I remember watching Scream Queens, and thinking that they werent acting.
Emma Roberts had the accusations of Evan Peters coming down and it made sense. Lia was such an annoying character and I was like "she's either a great actress or she's not acting...."
vee gee
vee gee:
Shallon you're the realest💯 I don't care what everyone has been saying, I will continue watching you, you've helped me so much and made me a lot more confident, love you! xx
I had so many bad experiences with mean girl when I was in school , they left me alone only when I confronted them irl and in the front of people . Don't let them see you scared cause they'll attack u like sharks
Taylor Bowers
Taylor Bowers:
Why is literally every person on glee (main cast) are so damn problematic? What is the common denominator?
Christina Lomeli
Christina Lomeli:
I I know you're not supposed to judge a book by it's cover but just look at her face! It screams I am insufferable ! ! !
😵 😱 ☠️ ⛔
Megan Weller
Megan Weller:
Shallon! I’m pretty sure I know what town you live in now, because I live here and I recognize the hotel room background! I hope I run into you someday! Welcome and enjoy Montana.
Violet L.
Violet L.:
Still haven't done MK Olsen divorce
Elena Lechuga
Elena Lechuga:
I just believe bullies are stupid, no really, they’re stupid. When I was in high-school there was this girl that everyone hated, but no one ever dared to confront her about what she did. Now, her mother was a goldigger and everyone around was scared of her. Literally, no one stood by her side by choice. Of course, she never realized any of these things, but yes, I truly believe bullies are stupid.
Brett Pugh
Brett Pugh:
Here's my issue is everyone likes me when I'm nice and sweet. But when I put my foot down and say no, I'm a horrible person. And I won't apologize for taking up for myself
I left my job before the pandemic hit, and it was the greatest win I have experienced in a long time. I have peace. I made many enemies at my old job due to me standing up to the bully who hated me. I also lost friends because they literally refused to defend me when they knew that the bully was saying things about me. It was sad realizing that I not only needed to leave that dead-end job, but also those dead-end friendships that didn't defend me the same way I defended them against this bully. I think the only thing I would have done differently in my particular situation is go higher up than to managment. I would have skipped HR all together, and gone to corporate. It would have sent a message. But I learned my lesson that bullies are some of the sweetest talkers, kissassers, and chameleons that exist in the workplace. Their biggest threats are people who are genuine, kind, and are hardworking people who have anxiety (like myself). I think this bully thought because I shared my experiences with anxiety that I was going to be an easy target. Boy was she wrong. The reason she hated me is because I not only stood up for myself, but also for others. That made her skin crawl. And I left my job with a sense of pride, and integrity that no MF's can ever take away from me💯
Can you talk about Julianne Hough? I always liked her but lately she is acting very strange.
Sixuan Wu
Sixuan Wu:
ahh there was a mean girl at my previous workplace! i wish this came out earlier!
taylor smith
taylor smith:
Always knew something was wrong with her. Naya knew it before us, damn😶
They had the same nose 😂🤣
Great topic, I had to become more passive with a subordinate colleague after he showed his true colours by insulting me in front of senior managers.

I'd had issues with these managers and subsequently (being the Machiavellian climber he is), thought he could exploit that to his advantage by questioning my character and interrupting my conversation more than once.

I made the school-boy error of debating with him once in our open plan office and got very frustrated when he couldn't perceive my point on a particular point. Ive concluded that he's socially anxious and subsequently targets people he believes he can level to increase his position.

Since then I've redacted all none work-related conversation from him, and gradually watch his mental health decline as he has no energy to feed on. I felt bad for being cold but then I remembered that trusting him f**ked me over in the first place. So arms length interactions for now, as I don't want him to spin any communication and deem me to be the bully (as he has already alluded).
Rebecca Friesen
Rebecca Friesen:
Everything happens for a reason, I think you were at Star magazine for as long as you needed to be, and look at you now. You are killing it with this channel and you will have a much bigger career this way. You don't need Star, they needed you.
Camille Tirado
Camille Tirado:
When she said “Aquarius have strong sense of justice” I immediately felt that deep in my soul and everything made sense 😂this is me at work.. ❤️shallon is definitely my spirit animal
Julijana Vlahovic
Julijana Vlahovic:
Your best video to date.
You have outdone yourself, so informative, funny and useful.
If I ever get bullied, ooh boy.
Whiteboard Becky
Whiteboard Becky:
What is your Myers-Briggs personality type?
Coral Santee
Coral Santee:
" Big ass dirty lump of coal" 😂😂😂 my absolute favorite insult ever!!
Sarah McKee
Sarah McKee:
One tactic which actually helped me is adding mystery. Kind of be a little unstable and what I mean is that lean in to my emotions. I do not try be all cool calm and collected all the time. I cry wen I need to (at the lunch table or whatever) and at other times I'll be angry. If they can't class you as just one type of reaction or emotion - it keeps them focussing on trying to figure out how to get at you. Also have hobbies and things that keep you busy and away from these people when you are not at work. Divide an conquer. It's like running in zig-zags so they can't trace you efficiently. It just makes someone else easier to target.
Angel Gray
Angel Gray:
Your intentions are good but I don't wanna end up like you, losing my job and all 💯
SJP and Kim Catrall.
Debbie Knight
Debbie Knight:
I lived through a bully - 2 of them. I was a union rep in a government office which put a big target on my back. The management officials tried to get rid of me, but thankfully, both of them ended up demoted and then retired. I got a promotion. This is not usually how the story ends and it took a huge emotional toll on me. Shallon's advice is golden.
fifi vogel
fifi vogel:
and I just got used to the sound quality of California..
I swear both Lea and Emma Roberts were just playing as themselves in Scream Queens.
Heather Saylor
Heather Saylor:
Montana??? Well I didn't see that coming!!!! That's so cool. You are going to love it!!! A video about dating in a small town?? Omg, it's like you read my mind!! I live on a small town (12,000) and I just don't know how to go about meeting someone that I don't already know!!! I can't wait!! Congrats on the huge move Shallon ☺️☺️☺️
Naomi Hynes
Naomi Hynes:
I’ve always had anxiety and wondered why I always got in friendships with people who bullied me. So toxic. Thanks for helping me grow from that the past few years with your videos shall💞
Maya Pasini-Schnau
Maya Pasini-Schnau:
Montana!! Wow I'm so intrigued. It's so beautiful there - I hope you're able to build a beautiful life!
You’re just RIGHT. If anyone is currently going through something like this: I left the job. It was financially hard, but I used to cry every single day after the job because of the bullying. I tried to talk to my boss about it, but the girl that was doing it was my boss’s favorite. I just couldn’t take it any longer. When I left was the time that my boss understood how bad things were because the place was short staffed and it had a great salary and benefits and I left ANYWAY.
This video is necessary. I resigned from a job. It got so depressing that one day I found myself standing near a window to end it all. Sounds dramatic but at that time, I had a colleague just like Lea.
Nora Lilley
Nora Lilley:
I find it interesting that Michelle Carter (girl who was charged for texting her bf to k*ll himself) used Lea's character as a role model/idol.
Mayeesha Tabassum
Mayeesha Tabassum:
That wallpaper gives Murder Witch vibes Damn!!!
Omg that wall reminds me of the opening credits from Twilight!!! Ugh the nostalgia 😫 🤣
Hey Shallon, would you ever do a video on Yoko Ono and John Lennon? I feel like there is so much to unpack there, with him leaving the Beatles, being uber-radicalized, the divorce with Cynthia, and the 1.5-year long affair he had with his personal assistant in the middle of his marriage to Yoko? Yoko even said that they were so close and clingy to each other that they even went to the bathroom (!!!) every time together, even in the recording studio? So bizarre and creepy, but I'd love to hear your thoughts.
Nahla Mariposa
Nahla Mariposa:
Montana? Wow that is a change. Goodluck and best wishes 😊💕

I had no idea Lea Michele was like this
Fruity little Cocktail
Fruity little Cocktail:
It’s so against my nature to bully that when it happens to me, I freeze up a bit because I’m having a hard time processing that it’s even happening
this was actually a good video, good content, good advice, personally im interested in the topic, i think it was well layed out, with exampes, well explained, and of course the gossip bit lol. also great you included source, always give credit.
I don’t even know anymore ;-;
I don’t even know anymore ;-;:
Naya tried to tell us that she was bad. But we didn’t listen :/.
A. Minty
A. Minty:
You look fantastic! Love the side swept fringe. Great advice, and can be applied to romantic relationships. I was dating a narc and before I had the word for it, I kept thinking the word “bully”. It’s usually the biggest losers and nobodies that behave like this because it comes from a lack of core identity. Being bullied means you have something they want.
Lizzy W
Lizzy W:
I am suprised you moved to Montana, but it suits you when I come to think of it. Anyways, I hope you will be very happy, healthy and succesful Shallon 💗💗
Sofia Call
Sofia Call:
Lmao people have told me that I look like lea, but at least I’m nice.
Asiyat Erkenova
Asiyat Erkenova:
Montana? that's a bold move, Shallon. But I definitely respect your broad perspective.
Sthefany Leonardi Pinheiro
Sthefany Leonardi Pinheiro:
I am a teacher here in Brazil, and once I worked at certain school and my coordinator had a thing a long time ago with my boyfriend at that time. When she figured out we were together she made my life a living hell. Once she even asked her daughters ( who were my students) to complain about me to the principal. She did all kinds of things until I was fired. It was horrible and I even thought about changing my profession because of that.
Victoria Hatzson
Victoria Hatzson:
Definitely wanna find out more about why you moved! Glad you’re happy though
So true!!! I had just one of those in my last job and let me tell you it was an enlightening experience HR! 100% with you. I just prayed a lot and guess what I found a super job that I’m so happy in and my last job it got sold to another company from another state. And the bully got fired! Two weeks later after I left bc of misconducted! Karma is real! Now I’m in a much better position professionally and economically!
Nour Cara
Nour Cara:
Coming from a girl living in a village in Africa, both NY and Montana experiences and the switch are absolutely dreams of mine, hopefully:)
Fatima zahra Fadl
Fatima zahra Fadl:
And btw Shallon by the time I finished your video I realized that I've been applying all these tips in my daily routine with my work place bully and no wonder it worked so thank you for giving us such authentic advices. ♥️🙏🏻 I'm so glad I found your channel 🌼
Dj Luisito
Dj Luisito:
im so glad you managed your youtube bullies so well. you are really inteligent
Jude MelRoses
Jude MelRoses:
Loving the interior earth tone decor. Matches your look.
Alexandra D
Alexandra D:
I'm at university and last year (my first year) one of my tutors kept looking at my tits during class. I didn't wanna make a big issue of it so I'd wear baggy clothing but he still kept looking. I brought it up to my academic advisor and after the whole process of dealing with the complaint was over. My tutor ended up "apologising" saying sorry you felt I was looking at you inappropriately... As a gesture of goodfaith, I didn't have seminar group and during the next seminar I had with him, he kept talking about how his wife worked at a tape shelter (this being completely unrelated to the class or any kind of awareness thing, came purely out of the blue) and that he was a feminist. Basically gaslighting me into feeling bad for accusing him of something that he did. Those "sorry you feel that way"/gaslighting apologies are the fucking worst
Shallon, do a video on victims of bullying who become bullies as adults.
Sabrina C
Sabrina C:
Shallon would you make a video about Sofia Vergara and Joe? how Sofia got out of a toxic long term relationship and then married the best man in the world😂
Isabella Bass
Isabella Bass:
I love Lea Michele so much, this makes me so sad.
Sam Chavan
Sam Chavan:
Wow shallon the background!!!💖💝💞✨✨✨

Ed: also I followed you on Twitter please accept my request. I've recently opened the account so not much tweets.